Recognize it. Since courage often doesn’t feel “brave” while it’s happening, your youngster might not realize he is being brave. When he shows courage, point it out to him. (“It was brave of you to meet the neighbor’s dog. I know you’re not comfortable around big dogs.”) Or you could say, “It took a lot of courage to tell your friend to stop teasing that girl.”
Control feelings. If your child is nervous or afraid, he may convince himself that something is too difficult. Help him develop ways to manage his feelings. He might take a few slow, deep breaths before he tries riding his bike without training wheels. Or he can give himself a pep talk before speaking up for himself. (“I know it’s wrong to share answers. I’m doing the right thing.”)♥
Share Expectations
- Show understanding. You might say, “I know you want to play, but it’s time to study for your test.”
- Give choices. Your youngster may do what’s expected if he gets to decide when to do it. Ask him, “Do you plan to practice piano before or after dinner?”
- Look to the future. Help your child tie your expectations to his goals. Does he want to become a race car mechanic? Try: “When you grow up, you’ll need to be organized to know exactly where all your tools are.”♥
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